FREEDOM TOUR INVITATION
Why is it that when you set your alarm on any given day you have no worries that you will wake up to the alarm, but when you set your alarm for 4:00 AM you wake up every hour to make sure you do not sleep through this alarm?
I tucked myself in at 9:00 PM and woke up every hour from 11:00 PM until 4:00 AM. I once read that anxiety and excitement are very similar in how they feel. So I am not certain if I feel anxious, or excited, or a blend of both. I jump in the shower and get ready for my full day of travel. My bags are neatly packed and I vacuum my bedroom as my last chore out the door. I leave my home spotless whenever I leave for a trip, so that I have nothing pending and I return to an empty to do list.
Monday, May 23rd, my friend rolled down my driveway at 5:00 AM to pick me up and drive me to the airport. I did not have any expectations. I was simply in the flow. I told my dog, Hazel, that I would be back in a week. She stood at the back gate looking quite forlorn and watched me disappear into the car. The skies and the roads were clear and peaceful this early in the morning.
It was 2 years ago that I began the greatest journey to return to my most authentic self. I was now embarking on my first vacation by myself.
Haley, my friend of 23 years, had purchased me airline tickets from Seattle to Phoenix to visit her and see her new home. I decided that I would take advantage of the opportunity and take an entire week off of work to enjoy some time with myself first, and time with friends before returning home. I rented a Mercedes Sprinter Van in Phoenix, Arizona, and planned a solo van trip to Sedona, Arizona.
The drive to the airport and the flight to Phoenix was smooth and without difficulty. I took an Uber from the airport to pick up my van. The Uber driver was friendly and wanting to engage in conversation. He asked me where I was coming from and where I was going.
When I told him I was picking up a van and heading to Sedona to camp and hike, he was in disbelief that I would do this alone.
He stated that he would like to do those things with a group but not alone. He proceeded to label me as an adventurer and I decided I would accept this label happily. Anxiety and excitement were present in me as we approached the house with the van sitting in the driveway. The owner of the van walked me through the tiny home on wheels, gave me a brief overview, had me sign a few papers and handed me the keys. The van was large and a bit intimidating to drive at the start, but as I shook off a bit of anxiety and allowed excitement to take its place, I quickly settled in.
My first stop was 30 minutes toward Sedona. I was going to see Haley’s house, have a bite to eat with her, and get groceries as I headed out of town. Haley and her husband Brian purchased their first home and moved in just a few months prior. I knew that the home and everything in the home would be spectacular. The home did not disappoint. It was lovely inside and outside, throughout the entire house, and in every little detail. It was as though I was walking through Pinterest. After a lovely tour, lunch, and visit, I headed to get groceries on my way out of town. I stopped at a very nice specialty organic grocery store and bought fresh fruits and vegetables and a few items to get me by for four days of camping.
Back on the road, and according to Google Maps, I would be arriving in Sedona early evening with plenty of time to do a sunset hike. As I drove through the mountains on Highway 17, the wind started to pick up. The van was incredibly tall and I felt as though I was sailing across the highway.
My hands gripped the wheel and I was rigid as a board. I slowed down to a snails pace and could feel fear had jumped into the passenger seat.
I had expected fear to visit me on this trip. After all, whenever one shows acts of bravery, fear is sure to be lurking close by. Instead of ignoring my fear by making a phone call for distraction, or encouraging my fear by allowing the feeling to take the wheel, I acknowledged my fear by talking to it. Here I was, sailing through the desert in an unknown vehicle, in an unknown state, driving to an unknown destination, and I said to my fear “I feel you and I recognize you. You are welcome to join me on my trip, but you will not be allowed to take over the trip, or stay in the front seat during the trip. You must stay in the back.” I turned the music up and continued down the Highway.
I did very little research for my trip to Sedona, but with the shallow digging that I did do, I read about the Sedona Vortexes. The visit to Sedona website describes the vortexes as “swirling centers of energy that are conducive to healing, meditation, and self-exploration.” It adds that the vortex sites “are places where the earth seems especially alive with energy.”
I decided that I would hike the four most famous vortexes during my trip.
I drove into Sedona and parked at the Sedona Airport. I set off on my first hike called Sedona Airport Loop ending at the Airport Mesa Vortex. The hike was a 6 mile loop, and I have yet to meet another human who does not appreciate a loop. Instead of out and back, a loop provides a continuous exploration of new scenery which seems to be the desired consensus.
I noticed relatively quickly that I was breathing heavily and soon realized I was at 4,400 feet above sea level and was accustomed to sea level. I still felt good, as I am in good shape from my marathon training, but I noted the effects. At the end of the loop, the trail veered toward the airport in one direction where I had parked, and in the other direction a path to the top of a large red rock where the Airport Mesa Vortex was located. I followed the large rock to the top where Sedona Natives were playing indigenous instruments and celebrating the sunset.
A sense of calm, contentment and gratitude flooded my body at the experience of celebrating a most remarkable occurrence that most are too busy to stop and appreciate or instead take for granted.
I watched the sunset as tears of joy rolled down my cheeks at the beauty that surrounded me. When the sun had set, I climbed back down the rock and headed to my van. It was time to find a place to camp for the night. This is where a plan may have been warranted but instead I got a good story.
I drove all over Sedona, and everywhere I went there was no parking or no overnight camping signs at every turn. I visited every campsite to find out all of them were full, and you could smell the bathrooms upon arrival. I googled boondocking and dispersed camping which would lead me over an hour or more outside of Sedona. I started to feel a bit desperate as it was pitch black and approximately 9:00 PM.
I decided to try one last road which I followed roughly a mile until the paved road ended abruptly, and signs indicated four wheel drive vehicles only. On my left hand side was a parking lot. There were no lights and everything was dark, but there was one other vehicle in the parking lot. I rolled my window down and asked the two ladies in the vehicle if they knew of anywhere to camp. They said “nowhere nearby, but we are staying here for the night.” Great! I would park there as well. I backed into a spot under a tree, but I could not make out any of my other surroundings as it was much too dark. I locked up the van and climbed into bed. I fell fast asleep.
Tuesday, May 24th, I could hear commotion outside of the van. It was already morning, and a park ranger was cleaning up the area and welcoming other hikers just arriving at the trailhead. I peeked outside and I was parked exactly at the trailhead for my next adventure! I set out at 5:00 AM on the Mund’s Wagon Trail which led to various other trails to be explored.
I had no plan and I had no destination but only to be with myself and connect to nature.
The weather was ideal at sunset and sunrise. I noticed the beautiful blue hue of the dessert plants against the brilliant red rocks that Sedona is notorious for. Somewhere along the hike I stopped, sat down, took my shoes and socks off, opened my mesa, which I use for my Shamanic practices, and allowed myself to escape into quiet meditation. The tears of joy started to roll down my cheeks again. I allowed the appreciation to flow from me without question or hesitation and in that moment connecting with the Universe. I was beginning to feel that the Universe is not surrounding me, but that I am one with all that is. I have read of moments like these, but to try to capture the feeling through words is impossible simply because words come from the mind, and feel comes from the heart. So I simply, and silently sat.
Once I got hungry I decided to head back to the van. I had lunch, cleaned up and walked roughly two miles into town. I enjoyed a Tarot Card reading, shopping for small souvenirs for my children, and eating ice cream. Haley drove into town with her daughter Olivia to hike one of the vortex hikes with me. We headed to Boynton Canyon Vortex. The hike was epic. Haley and I set out with two-year-old Olivia who was beyond excited at the start of the trailhead. We spent a fair amount of time wandering rather than hiking. I found myself perfectly content rather than needing to accomplish a destination. The company was perfection. There was familiarity and comfortability in our long-term friendship, and there was a fresh perspective that is only shared through the eyes of a young explorative child. The scenery was exceptional and the weather remarkable. We covered a fair amount of ground and then Olivia made it known that she was done.
We never made it to a Vortex destination. But we were in the canyon, and energy is energy, so I do not feel we missed out on anything. In fact, we laughed hysterically while trying to get back as quickly as we could with Olivia on my shoulders, we indeed had experienced the Vortex of Olivia.
She flailed violently around, squeezing my neck with her legs and pulling my hair with her mighty but tiny hands.
It was intense to say the least, yet it lead to comical relief. I headed back toward the van and I explored another trail at sunset called Marges Draw. I enjoyed the dried up river beds, the cacti flowers blooming, and the flat trail as my legs were tired from covering close to twenty miles on the second day.
I returned to the van before it was dark and decided to take the road less travelled that called for four-wheel-drive vehicles only. I pulled out of the safe haven of the State Park parking lot, and dropped off of the paved road and onto the rough dirt road with big boulders, jagged rocks and huge craters. There were no other vehicles on this road minus the professional jeep tours with special suspension built into the roadster warriors.
As soon as I was on the road I knew I had made a dire mistake, but I was unable to back up or turn around so I persevered. I believe I covered a half mile in an hour. During that time, two tour guides passed me with a look of utter shock that a tiny home on wheels was being navigated solo by yours truly. Individually, they stopped to inquire what I was doing, and to both of them I replied “I have no idea, but if you have any tips to get me out of this mess it would be greatly appreciated.” To which they replied, “It only gets worse. You will want to find a way to turn around.”
Fear jumped back into the passenger seat, but in all reality there was nowhere else for fear to sit. All of the cabinet doors and drawers had flung open, and it looked as though a natural disaster made its way into the van claiming it as the epicenter.
I grabbed a towel and feverishly wiped the sweat from the steering wheel and my hands, then my legs on the seat.
I decided that the curve in the road was my only hope for turning this tiny home around without high centering the van in the middle of no man’s land. I had to circumnavigate the van over, through, and between boulders and craters while stepping on the gas for clearance of obstacles, and also rapidly stepping on the brakes to keep from driving off the cliff edge or into the mountainside. I did this forward and backward dance through what felt like a 100-point turn until I was headed back in the direction I came from.
I made it back to the original parking lot and my camp site to find individuals clapping for me and my heroic efforts on the 4X4 adventure. Come to find out, the entire adventure could be seen from the parking lot. I sheepishly backed the van under the tree in my original parking spot. A man wearing tie dye, Birkenstocks, and the quintessential pony tail approached the van applauding loudly and proclaiming, “You must be the bravest person I have ever met!” I replied “Quite possibly the most reckless, but the most brave I do not agree.” He said “Alright 4X4 girl but I have never seen another person take a van on that road. That was the bravest experience I have witnessed.” We chatted briefly and parted ways, as I was exhausted. I surrendered to camping illegally for one more night and would explore the following day for a different camping location. I fell asleep quickly and woke up before sunrise to get to the next Vortex.
Wednesday, May 25th, I drove to the Bell Tower Vortex trailhead. When I arrived, there was no one else around, as the sun had not even peeked out yet. I hiked around Bell Tower Rock and was greeted by the most spectacular sunrise. I climbed half way up Bell Tower Rock and mediated while the sun warmed the Earth. I continued hiking around the Courthouse Tower hike. I loved the freedom I had each day just to be and to explore.
I had no agenda which allowed each moment to unfold organically and flow effortlessly.
This hike was no exception. I was surrounded by red rock formations, and meandering through the desert enjoying getting to know myself in ways I have never had the opportunity to before. When I departed Bell Tower Vortex, I headed to my last Vortex destination. I could not have planned a better outcome finishing my Vortex Tour with Cathedral Rock Vortex.
The hike is approximately 800 feet of elevation gain in a mile and a half. It was not long, but moderately intense, and when I reached the top I experienced the most spectacular and stunning views I had experienced anywhere in Sedona. I do not recall feeling a greater sense of energy at any one particular location, but I do recall the phenomenal energy that emanated and illuminated Sedona. Until I stood between the two expansive red rocks that formed Cathedral Rock, no other word would describe what felt other worldly.
Once again, I found a spot that called me to sit down, remove my shoes and socks, and place my feet against the rock. I sat for as long as I desired connecting my feet to the earth. Right smack dab in the middle of Cathedral Rock, I see this man scale down the side of one of the expansive rocks forming the Cathedral. As he made his way closer to me, he starts waving and loudly proclaims, “4X4 girl is that you? It is me Jacque!” —which I had named him the quintessential hippy guy. He sat down next to me as we visited, and I could not help but feel that I was living the life I had always meant to live as an adventurer and a wanderer, and for the first time in my life not feeling lost when everything around me was completely unknown.
It was my final sunset on the Freedom Tour in Sedona, so I set off on one last hike. I was told there was a river at the base of one of the trails in the Coconino National Forest where I had been exploring. I took the one trail I had not yet traveled. I hiked many miles to the base of the mountain when I came to a beautiful river. It was hot and my feet were tired, so I dipped them in the river before heading back to the van.
The sun started to set as I climbed back up the path toward camp. I had been in Sedona for 3 days and I had hiked close to 50 miles. I was reflecting on all of the amazing experiences, and chuckling to myself because one of my biggest fears when approaching this adventure was running into a rattlesnake. I rounded a corner and there in the middle of the path was my first snake encounter.
The snake looked like a baby Red Racer. My skin crawled as I am extremely uncomfortable when it comes to snake encounters. I managed to scale the side of the mountain and avoid disturbing the little critter. I was a little shaken but had no time to waste as the sun was setting and I wanted to get back to the van before dark.
I rounded another corner and this time there was a rather large rattlesnake spread across the entire trail.
The rattlesnake was bathing in the last bit of sunshine before it set. I could not go around the snake to the left as the mountainside was lined with cacti, and on the right there were bushes, and beyond the bushes a cliff. I had a moment of shear terror. I was so uncomfortable, I froze. I looked around and saw a nearby tree with dead branches still attached. I broke off a three foot branch and started approaching the snake with the branch scraping the trail, so there was plenty of warning of my presence and no element of surprise. I came within six feet of the reptile when the neck and head raised with a cautionary stance warning me not to come closer.
I backed up, briefly talking to the snake reassuringly that I meant no harm, and I could see the defensive nature. I stated, “I am terrified and I imagine you are too, but I need you to move off of the trail so that I can get back to my van before dark.” I scraped the ground again, and the snake turned around and calmly and quietly slithered into the nearby bush. I kept the stick between me and the bush where the snake had disappeared. As I walked by the snake, I was warned by the distinct sound of the rattles, and I picked up a rapid pace to put distance between me and one of my greatest fears.
There were numerous adventures sprinkled throughout my trip to Arizona, but nothing compared to the time I was able to connect to the nature in Sedona, and in doing so connect with myself on a deeper, intimate level.
I found parts of me I was unfamiliar with but have always existed within me.
I felt like my time in Sedona was not over and I would return. I was beyond grateful for the 50 miles I covered by foot connecting with the past, the present, and the future. I am forever changed for having the courage to take the first leg of my Freedom Tour!
