DIRT IN MY EYE
I taught a lesson today to an individual who proclaimed to be insecure and to lack confidence. She would look for all of the things that she cannot control and asked for the tools necessary to control what is outside of her. I found myself responding by telling her one must practice being in the present, letting past worries go and not creating future worries. One must get the tools to control what is inside rather than what is outside themselves.
One can look, listen and feel for all things out of their control in and out of the saddle, in and out of the arena, in and out of the barn. Then one must stop, connect to their breath and use the one thing that we can control which is our thoughts. I told her that when she found herself wandering or wanting to control anything outside of her she must stop, she must take a deep inhale to re-center her self, and on the exhale let go of all that she cannot control.
Later that day I drove to my barn to practice what I preach. My thoughts had been consumed by a speck of dust in my existence, this speck of dust could be any number of things, but that speck of dust was growing in my vision, and all I could see was the speck of dust. Well, I had many gifts surrounding me. The air I breathe. The nature that surrounds me. The connection with animals and humans I encounter daily. All of these blessings surrounded me, but all of my energy was focused on the speck of dust.
Much like my student I was looking everywhere but within myself. I was trying to control, make sense, or understand all of the things out of my control. The thoughts continued to spiral while I prepared my next horse to work. I felt agitated in my body and mind. I did not take the time to breathe and re-center. I headed out in the muddy wet arena and within a few moments a loud car passed by sending the horse that I was working into the air. I was ground driving and walking behind him. With an enormous amount of power he kicked out his back legs and two hoof print sized sand balls flew into my face, covering the entire front of me, and landing a large clump of sand in my left eye.
The paradox is quite hilarious. Where I once had a speck of dust in my eye I now had a snowball sized sand pit in my eye. I quickly blinked, pulled my eyelid over my bottom lid and bent down. It was quite the scene. I am sure with extra dramatic flair. I felt angry and irritated, but that quickly passed and I carried on with my work, not giving the ball of sand much consideration.
That evening, as I reflected on my day, and the many teachings that I was given I started to think about the speck of dust in my eye that had been consuming me. I thought of the lesson that I taught about being present. Then I humbly sat and laughed that the Universe wanted to make oh so clear that I practice what I preach. That when a piece of dust is in my eye, or multiple particles of sand are in my eye, I must return to the present. I must return to my breath. I must return to my center. That is all one can ever do when the world gets busy, uncomfortable, and out of control. The only thing that we can do is control the narrative that we give it. Are we going to allow it to be a simple particle of dust that passes by or are we going to allow the speck to grow into a clump of sand in our eye? The choice is ours.
