EXTRA HOT YOGA
I rolled over to turn my alarm clock off. It was 5:00 AM. I followed my morning routine crawling out of bed, getting dressed to workout, making my bed, drinking copious amounts of water with a vitamin pack, feeding the dog and climbing into my car. Now 5:30 AM I make my way to Hot Yoga.
Honestly I thought I would start writing about Yoga long before this monumental lesson. Each yoga instructor would inspire me in some way and I would think to myself that is inspirational, powerful, and worthy to write about but I did not. Each class provided a lesson that I could expand upon and I continued to pass up the opportunity. On this day and this event I was moved beyond a consideration or a thought. I was moved to write.
No matter the instructor or the class the message delivered at the beginning is that this is our personal practice, to listen to our body and to honor ourselves. Little did I know what my personal practice would entail that day. The instructor walked in greeting the class, turning the music off and asking everyone to find their first savasana. We all lay on our backs arms relaxed by our sides and legs stretched long in silence starting our practice and surrendering our body, our breath and our thoughts.
She guided us from our savasana, also known as the corpse pose, to bringing the souls of our feet together so that our legs would butterfly and begin to open up our hips and release tension through our lower back. I do hope you have a clear visual of the pose. Flat on back, butterfly legs, complete surrender as we start a box breath. Breathing in for a count of four, holding for a count of four, breathing out for a count of four and holding for a count of four. Silence with the exception of breathing. I feel a tickle in my throat emerge. I try to swallow to relieve the need to cough. The tickle intensifies. I try a quick clearing of my throat. The tickle is not amused. On the next breathe the tickle demands to be released with a forceful cough. The cough was so forceful an even louder and more forceful fart accompanied it. The acoustics in the studio amplified my cough fart making sure that every last ounce of me surrendered to my humble practice. Wait. What? What the fuck did my body just surrender to?
The instructor who was leading us through our box breath responded as her voice went up an octave “Bless You!” I could have died right then and there. Fortunately I was already in a corpse position. Very little effort would have to be made. The following thoughts raced through my head. Should I leave? Should I ever return to this class? This instructor? This studio? With which my thoughts replied. You just bought a year long membership one month ago. Shit. Literally particles of shit were now joining my practice and each one of my fellow yogi’s practice in 105 degree room of sweaty yoga for the next hour.
I decided that the “Bless You” was my saving grace and maybe my forceful flatulence sounded like a sneeze to everyone else in the room. I bought that story laying on my back with my eyes tightly closed finishing our breathing. The first minute of our sixty minute practice was complete. Only 59 minutes to go. I can do anything for 59 minutes right?!
The lights dimmed and the music came on as we moved to our boxes on our hands and knees to alternate cat and cow stretches. I could barely make eye contact with myself in the mirror and the idea of surrendering anything during this practice was not up for discussion. I felt my body had abandoned me by releasing an air biscuit without my consent.
As the class continued the thoughts of my public humiliation faded and my focus on surrendering returned. I could spin this tale in so many different directions but at the end of the day humble humor for healing is what prevailed as well as Karma. Just a week prior I had made a comment that an individual had passed gas during yoga. That comment was decorated with laughter and horror and I stated I hope that never happens to me. Lo and behold I made fun of another Human for being Human and I was reminded I am Human too. May we all be kind to each other and to ourselves whether we are full of hot air or not.
Namaste (Cough Cough)
